NOTES:
I don’t care if what I’m about to say comes off twee or not. When I wrote this song and played it for myself the first time I thought finally if beauty is a river, I finally had a drop to add. At the same time, some songs the author doesn’t write, only scribes. This song used me to get out into existence and I will forever be thankful it chose me. I hope people get it, but its worth is already enough to me as is. It in all ways described what I felt like at a very black time and also freed me. No, it shook me to my core and after writing it, I was never the same. It made the idea that everything is a gift so real to me. It was so fundamental to moving from one place in life to another. I will think about the line “all of your dreams can come true, but not what you thought instead something new”. In a quest there is so much beauty that can be overlooked or missed. I had lost sight of most of it, what was important. Too battered and bruised to see anything clearly. Failure and struggle. But then as soon as I wrote this line down it was like the scene in the Wizard of Oz when everything becomes Technicolor. It isn’t making do with or getting used to. It’s seeing it finally all as the gift it is – even the hard stuff. That state of being grateful is never far from me now. How can there not be beauty that out of all the impossible chaos that this, me writing these words to you now, came to be. Impossible! And yet here we are. Chaos and meaningless, or a gift. You choose. For me, it’s something of sheer powerful beauty. I’m certainly not referencing “god” but it isn’t devoid of spirituality either. Whether alone or not there is always beauty – the privilege of feeling and being. There is us in this moment and that’s enough, more than enough and I am so very, very grateful.
LYRICS:
Now you don’t get what you want
All you’ve done means nothing at all
Now she sands window lit bare
Numbs the bruise and kisses your hands
But there is love with you now / There is love beside you tonight
There is love with you now / There is love around you tonight
You’ve walked the streets of Paris in snow
Never felt, felt so alone
Now you don’t see through the glass
Just your face and all that you’ve lost
But there is love with you now / There is love beside you tonight
All the dreams can come true / But not what you thought,
Instead something new
How you longed and missed
All the while it was there
Waiting for your eyes to stare
Now you don’t get what you want
Now you get more than you thought
Now you don’t bend anymore
Now you break, break at the core
But there is love with you now / There is love beside you tonight
There is love with you now / There is love around you tonight
(FIN)
